"Honey, what do we tell the kids?"

This is a quandary for many. Won't they be shattered if they get to know that their Daddy is gay or bi-sexual, a homo or a poof?

There are those who will urge you to tell the children come what may, and certainly, if they know and they do not reject you, it is so much easier to live around the house, knowing that you have no worry any longer of being discovered for what you really are.

But whether or not you tell the kids is very much up to you and how you think the children will take it. I know of many cases where children have been told quite young and there seems to be no ill effect, although there can be repercussions at school if other children know about it. Bullying might follow unless your children can cope that sort of situation. Some children, brought up in a gay relationship, have been known as "the children with two Dads".

When children are older, say in their mid or late teens, discovering that their father is gay or bi-sexual can have serious consequences, particularly as they themselves are probably trying to find their own sexuality. They may well be slightly homophobic at that stage - after all, life is still very black and white for some, with no grey areas. They will worry that they may have inherited their father's sexuality - in fact, there is a belief that homosexuality can only be inherited through the female line. You may run the risk of losing your children at that stage, so it may be wise to wait until they are old enough and mature enough to accept that their father does not match Society's stereotypical father, possibly as late as when they are in their 20s or 30s.

As always, the choice is yours and what you think to be right at the time.  But also listen to your children and try to work out what they might be telling you.