Another aspect of the tangles that Married Gay People find themselves in ......

Periodically, the author of this site receives e-mails from the "other man" or the "other woman". These terms, because of their link to an affair outside the marriage, tend to have a stigma attached to them. Perhaps their rights will change with time.

These people, emotionally or romantically attached to another person who is already married, are often more concerned about the well being of that person, than about their own well being. That is ok to a point, but there is an old saying:

"Never never get involved with a married person"

This paints a particularly black picture, but this is deliberate.

Many single people become the "other person" in a love triangle because of what their heart is telling them, but more often than not, because they do not know the whole truth about their new friend, who has withheld the information that they are already married. This is where the lies start. They are not necessarily intentional lies - they are what they want the other person to hear.

With the discovery of the marital status, there could be promises that the married person will leave their spouse and children, and come and live with the "other person". Such promises are rarely fulfilled.

The reason for never ever getting involved with a married person is that in the majority of cases, the married person will never leave the marital nest unless forced to do so. They want their cake and eat it too.

This can lead to a lot of pain and hurt for the "other person", to frustration and to lost time, when they could be perhaps finding someone else who is not married to spend their life with.