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Does bisexuality really exist?

This something that I debate quite frequently - there are those who contend that bisexuality does not exist, and that you are either heterosexual or homosexual, with practically no in-between.

I argue that there is a difference between what we are fundamentally (in our genes, for the sake of argument), and what we practise. Wherever we consider ourselves to be now on the Kinsey Scale (as a useful starting point), we might not be there in a few years time, and we might not have been there a few years ago. Many people acknowledge that their perceived sexuality does change over the years, either towards the homosexual end of the scale, or more rarely (as seen in the results of the Questionnaires), towards the heterosexual end of the scale. I guess that we tend to move towards what we like to do most, and tastes do change over the years ......

Does it really matter?

There is great danger in trying to put a person's sexuality into a "post box" such as homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. In so doing, we may be restricting our interpretation of a person's true sexuality. (See Sexuality Labels page)

The question has been asked,

"Surely, if a person is married and has homosexual tendencies, they are really bisexual?"

It can also be asked,

"If a person is considered to be bisexual, even though they can have sex with both sexes, should they not be content, in marriage, only to have sex with their spouse?"

The answer to this last question must address the needs of the person concerned - most extra-marital activity is as a result of a need to go outside the marriage. Whether a true "bisexual" should be content with sex with their spouse alone is subject to conjecture.

A large number of Married Gay people consider themselves to be gay rather than bisexual. They often quote themselves as "being one woman or man short of being totally gay".

We are what we are regardless of the stereotypical image that others may wish to put on us. More to the point is that we are fundamentally:

Therefore, let us avoid tags such as gay, bisexual and so on, as much as we can, and accept that we are what we are.

When it comes to relationships with a partner, that is a different story again. It is not impossible for a gay or bisexual man or woman to have a satisfactory relationship with someone of the opposite although the track record for such relationships is not particularly good.