Conduct
If we are to maintain a working relationship in marriage or partnership, there are certain rules that are fundamental.
Reviewing the responses to the questionnaires on this site has revealed where some marriages or relationships have gone wrong, and they are worth thinking about:
Communication and Trust
- Lack of good communication between partners enables imagination to run amok and it is easy to perceive things to be happening which are not happening at all. As a result, trust between the partners which is all important to a successful relationship cannot be maintained, and distrust takes its place.
- Try to maintain good, effective communication between partners at all times, and maintain good trust as a result.
- Answering "Nothing!" to the question "What is happening?" or "What is the matter?" is not a good answer.
Honesty
Dishonesty can come in different shapes and forms, but the most common forms are:
- Holding back on the truth, embroidering something different
- Denying something is happening when it is happening
- Trying to pass on the blame to someone else
Examples cited include denying to your spouse that you are gay, or having an extra-marital affair when it is happening, telling your spouse that it is their fault that you are not fulfilling your part of the bargain within the relationship.
Unfortunately, it seems that over 80% of us, male or female, are capable of lying when we consider that to confess will potentially have disastrous consequences.
Invariably, the truth will out, so why can't we be truthful from the start and save a lot of pain and anger?
Easier said than done, of course!
Common objectives
These relate very much to the values in a relationship and where we want to go with those values. We can only have common objectives between parties to a relationship if communication is good and effective and if trust prevails.
Let us try to set some purpose to our relationship and make it work for us rather than drift along aimlessly?