Some of us are late discoverers

Suppose that trigger occurs during our so-called mid-life crisis, and we realise that we have not fulfilled all of the things that we feel we should have fulfilled during our early lives? What happens next?

For some, if they are brave enough, they will experiment with another man, finding him through the gay scene where they live, or elsewhere, or through the internet. I won't go into the safety side of such activity here - this is something which is well published elsewhere.

And what if we discover that having experimented, we rather like it - in fact it is something that we could not deprive ourselves of again?

Some describe it as being introduced to a candy store and being told that they can have as much as they like. Having started, they cannot stop, and perhaps meet as many as 50 to 100 different men of a period of two years. Think of the health risks.

Perhaps along the line, to add to the complications, they fall in love with one particular guy, and a relationship starts. What next?

It is time to stop and think

Fortunately, I would guess that many men do stop and think after the initial excitement of it all, and try to find ways to stabilise, reduce the risks to themselves, to their loved ones and also to think about their marriages. But I sometimes think that that initial period of activity is important to the process of "catching up", making up for lost time, and fulfilling some of those needs that had been triggered. It is not to be condoned, but it may be necessary.

So what are the issues (beyond those linked to health and safety)? These are all things which are written about on different pages within this site.

Remember that whatever you decide to do, it has to be your choice, preferably agreed with those closest to you. No one else can make that choice for you.

None of this is easy, and remember that there are others involved, not just yourself.