two guysMarried Gay

The pages of this site, first started around the Fall of 1999, are principally for men and women who are gay, lesbian or bisexual and married to (or in a relationship with) someone of the opposite sex. They are also for their spouses, partners or girlfriends / boy friends, to help them understand what might be going on. These are typically same sex attractions and mixed orientation relationships or marriage.

A Kind of Madness

What is it that makes seemingly perfectly normal people do what they do?

I am no psychiatrist and would never profess to be, but I have often likened what happens to men (and probably women also) at a "certain age", as "a kind of madness".

For the past 10 or 20 years, he has lived a normal, well adjusted life with a normal well adjusted family, loving his wife and loving his children, when suddenly, something wells up inside him, and he is prepared to take risks which could potentially destroy everything he has helped to create, in fact his whole existence.

Why?

I believe that the sexual drive is an immensely powerful thing, and yes, contrary to popular belief it does not necessarily decline with age.

I have talked of "triggers" on other pages. I believe that inside most of us, there is some sort of clock ticking away which is registering the things during our lives that we may have missed out on, and that register can become more significant with time. It may not be sexual; it could become evident in other ways (for instance, the need to start suddenly sailing around the world single handed, or to climb Everest), but for many of us, it is sexual, regardless of our sexuality. This is not, in its root cause, a sex or sexuality issue, but it can develop into one.

That drive becomes stronger and stronger until we can resist it no longer. We can use all sorts ploys such as our faith, but that simply increases the drive. Eventually, the outwardly perfectly normal man gives in, and risks all.

I have said elsewhere on these pages, I wonder whether we really do have any choice?

Whereas for the most part, these pages are written around the Married Gay male, many of them can be read, substituting "female" for "male", and vice versa.

The owner of this Married Gay site accepts no responsibility whatsoever for any consequences of actions taken by persons who may have visited this site.