two guysMarried Gay

The pages of this site, first started around the Fall of 1999, are principally for men and women who are gay, lesbian or bisexual and married to (or in a relationship with) someone of the opposite sex. They are also for their spouses, partners or girlfriends / boy friends, to help them understand what might be going on. These are typically same sex attractions and mixed orientation relationships or marriage.

Responses to the Questionnaires

On this page, you can review a comparison of the responses of the various Questionnaires which were responded to over quite a long period up until around 2009. There have been further responses since then which will be analysed in due course, although, except where the responses have been few, it is unlikely that the findings so far will change appreciably. The responses are in connection with:

Both of these concentrate on various aspects of the Questionnaire results. The reviewing of the questionnaires is an ongoing process, although it has been found that above say 200 or 300 responses, there is a general consistency in the responses, statistically. For instance, the proportion of those who practice safe sex compared to those who do not has become fairly constant.

The questionnaires were introduced at different times, the "men about themselves" questionnaires being started in September 2005, and the "women about themselves" questionnaires in March 2006.

There is a Questionnaire, called the Modified Sexual Orientation Grid, based on the work of Fritz Klein. This reviews changes in peoples' sexuality during their lifetime. This can be accessed here.

Comparison of Gay Men in Marriage with Gay (Lesbian) Women in Marriage

For the present, this main page highlights the following:

Throughout, reference to "marriage" means marriages or relationships where one partner is male and the other partner is female. This site does not currently cater for same sex marriages as they are not entirely relevant to the nature of the site.

Men about themselves and Women about their Men Women about themselves and Men about their Women
Sample of Contributors

As can be seen from the diagrams below, the contributors to the two different sets of questionnaires are very different in their profiles, there being fewest contributors at the Kinsey 0 end for men about themselves and fewest contributors at the Kinsey 6 end for women about themselves. This may be as a result of the original emphasis of the site being towards gay men in marriage. The emphasis towards gay women in marriage was introduced six months later and has never really caught up.
Kinsey 20080228 mf  Kinsey 20080208 fm 
When did they realise their Sexuality?

The following diagram shows in percentage terms the ages when sexuality (all forms of sexuality) is realised for both men and women. The majority realise their sexuality when in the age range 10 - 14 years. However, there is a significant number of people who do not realise their sexuality until after the age of 21, 21% in the case of men, and 26% in the case of women. Some do not realise it until after the age of 40.
sexuality realisation 20080301 

The implication of this is that a significant percentage of the people responding to the questionnaires on this site may not have been aware of their true sexuality until after they married. The modified Klein Sexual Orientation Grid questionnaire results tend to bear this out, since it is also clear from many of the responses received that older respondees have a better understanding of their true sexuality (their ideal) than younger respondees who mostly show their ideal as what they would like to be, not what they truly are. This is partly because they still want to conform to Society's wishes, but also because they have not had enough experience to understand what their sexuality truly is.
Why did they marry?

The following diagrams show the reasons why the man (talking about himself) married (left) and the woman (talking about herself) married (right). There are strong similarities between the two suggesting that there is not much difference between the sex
Why marry mf 20070908  Why marry fm 20070908 

The following diagrams show the reasons why the woman (talking about her husband) married (left) and the man (talking about his wife) married (right). Again there are similarities, although not as strong. This may be because the set of "His Reasons for Marrying" are not based on a significant number of responses.
Her why marry 20070908  his why marry fm 20070908 
Safe Sex Attitudes 

All of those contributing to the results below have admitted to extramarital activity outside their marriage. Both sets of results are from numbers that might be considered to be significant, but there are differences, the men (left) apparently being more likely to practice safe sex than their female counterparts (right). However, the numbers claiming to practice what they consider to be safe sex are not sufficient for sex outside marriage to be considered anything other than high risk.
Safe sex 20080208 mf  Safe sex fm 20080208 
Men about themselves and Women about their Men  Women about themselves and Men about their Women 
Whereas for the most part, these pages are written around the Married Gay male, many of them can be read, substituting "female" for "male", and vice versa.

The owner of this Married Gay site accepts no responsibility whatsoever for any consequences of actions taken by persons who may have visited this site.