The discovery has been made - one partner or the other has attractions towards the same sex - what happens next?

This is the situation that many people find themselves, and normally, they have little idea about how to go about sorting things out. Not helping the situation will be feelings of upset, anger, confusion, bewilderment, guilt, distrust and so on - in fact, a form of bereavement.

First the partner who feels they have been wronged will probably be blaming themselves for what is happened. Don't......there is absolutely nothing that you could have done to prevent it.

There is an approach that might be worth trying.

Each partner has to be honest with themselves, and ask themselves, in private and without any external influence of any kind, "What is it that I really really want?" There may be several things and they may not be things that up until then they have been telling their spouse or partner.

Once that personal knowledge is gained, it is perhaps time to be totally honest with the spouse or partner. Yes, there could well be hurt and pain, but bearing in mind that if a marriage is for a life time, isn't that going to happen some time in the future, anyway?

Once both partners are aware of their own needs, and also the needs of the other partner, it is time to talk, and talk and talk some more, and to work out what is best for them as individuals and also for any dependents, in the knowledge of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

It sounds simple, but it is not and it needs a great deal of courage by both parties to get it sorted so that a solution is found which is best for all concerned......