Before thinking of ending a marriage, let us give some thought to the values it might have......

What are the values of a marriage?

They include things, in no particular order, like:

There could be many other values.

Why not sit down and give some thought to these, scoring them say between 1 and 6, (1 meaning of little or no value, 6 meaning of considerable value).

If all of the values score on average (say) 4 or more, perhaps it is worth-while giving some thought as how you might try to continue your marriage, rather than to end it, working on those values which scored the least, to make a better marriage. Better still, try to do this together with your spouse / partner, rather than alone.

It could be argued that a successful relationship which has evenly balanced values. If for instance something is missing (such as the sex life), the probability is that one or other partner to the relationship could feel cheated.

For many married gay or bisexual men, it is better to try to keep the marriage going than to abandon it, especially if you have been together for a number of years.

The alternative might not be quite so rosy as it looks; you might not find a new partner quite as suitable as the one you have already! And loneliness might be the prospect for the future.

If you think that the marriage is too far gone to be beneficial to either of you, so be it!

I hope that this gives you food for thought!

I would be glad to hear people's views on this approach, and to their ideas as to what marriage values should be. Also whether they have been helped by this approach. Contact me if you have any thoughts.